Why I Still Believe

NEW JOURNAL!

2004-09-19T21:25:19Z

NEW JOURNAL!!!
NEW JOURNAL!!!
NEW JOURNAL!!!

ihatejello
ihatejello
ihatejello
ihatejello
ihatejello

ADD IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please. Thanks.

Admit It! You Knew It Would Happen!

2004-08-15T06:49:58Z

So I'm back, bitches!

And I'm going friends only.

If you've been cut, I apologize. I used to leave this journal devoid of anything personal because I knew everyone and anyone could read it. Things are going to be different now.

100 Things

2004-06-06T06:22:19Z

More than you'll ever want to know about me.

1. I'm about 5'4''.
2. But I don't think I've grown since the sixth grade.
3. I have one older sister named Cassandra Renee.
4. And she is only 5'1 1/2''
5. I love spinach. Love it.
6. I used to have a nasty habit of biting things.
7. This included my Barbie's heads, hands, feet and even my dog, Skipper.
8. He was named after the character in Gilligan's Island.
9. I was born in Brownsville in 1989.
10. The day I was born also happened to be the coldest day for my town in a century.
11. It was only about 10 degrees.
12. The number one song on the Billboard Charts that day was Billy Joel's, "We Didn't Start the Fire".
13. I have two freckles on my top lip.
14. But nowhere else.
15. My mother is a librarian at the high school she used to attend.
16. My father is a U.S. History teacher, volleyball coach, softball coach, cross country coach, and basketball coach at the high school my mom works at.
17. He didn't go there though.
18. I started playing the piano when I was 7 and quit when I was 12.
19. I actually wasn't that bad. Just lazy.
20. One of my favorite hobbies is cooking/baking.
21. I've always been a "helper" in the kitchen, but my sister hasn't yet learned how to scramble an egg.
22. I have no idea how she will survive in college next year.
23. My least favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla. Blegh.
24. I want to get married and honeymoon in France.
25. I really just want to be French even though I'm Mexican, Native American, and Spanish.
26. I adore Nick Swardson.
27. The first time I saw him was on Reno 911!
28. He was playing a prostitute on rollerskates named Terry.
29. I love stand-up comedy more than anyone knows.
30. My mother is allergic to everything and their mother, but I'm only allergic to bees and ants.
31. Thank God I'm not allergic to cats.
32. We have 8 of them.
33. Would you like me to name them all? Here we go: Sheba, Holly, Baby, Sabrina, Forrest, Max, Lou, and Amelia.
34. I never ate glue as a child.
35. But that doesn't mean I never tried some cat nip.
36. I have trouble deciding what my favorite TV program is.
37. But I know it's either Degrassi, the OC, or Reno 911!
38. My favorite song is "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley.
39. And my favorite movie is the Sandlot.
40. I love Romeo and Juliet.
41. Both the book and the movie.
42. Leonardo DiCaprio was probably my very first celebrity crush.
43. My first real crush was on a boy named Alex Rodriguez, who now goes by David.
44. He had the curliest hair you've ever seen.
45. My first best friend was a girl named Dana Deaton.
46. We ate sandwiches, played with each other's hair, walked around in high heels, and watched Baywatch together.
47. She was also my first enemy, but I still can't remember why we began to hate each other.
48. Dana was probably the only kid in Brownsville with a basement.
49. A few years after I met Dana, I met J.R.
50. He became my best friend, and we spent nearly every minute together considering he lived next door.
51. J.R. was my first kiss.
52. Shut up, please.
53. He used to propose to me, but I never once accepted.
54. Sometimes I worry about how badly I want to be married.
55. But I refuse to marry a cop.
56. I don't think I would be able to handle it if they died.
57. I've never had to deal with a death in my family. Not yet.
58. My mother's dad died, as did my father's.
59. I didn't get a chance to meet either.
60. I'm the most sensitive person I know.
61. I wish I were emotionally stable.
62. I can't remember the last time I cried from physical suffering.
63. But the last time I cried from emotional suffering was just a few minutes ago.
64. I don't know if I believe in God, but I'm not sure I'm ready to label myself an athiest just yet.
65. Quentin Tarantino is my god.
66. I fell in love with Pulp Fiction before I knew he directed it.
67. It was probably the first indepdent movie I ever saw.
68. One might say I now have an obsession with indepedent movies.
69. I'm really just obsessed with movies in general.
70. If we play the movie game, I'll kick your ass, and you know it.
71. I'm really not a cocky person. I hate cocky people. It's such a turn-off.
72. And assholes. I hate assholes.
73. A man who owned a "gourmet" burger restaurant down here once said that people in Brownsville weren't smart enough to realize that his burgers were better than those at McDonald's or Wendy's, and that is why his restaurant failed.
74. I say he's an asshole who couldn't accept the fact that no one wanted to pay lots of money for a mere burger.
75. It pisses me off when people talk shit about my town.
76. But I do it all the time.
77. There are a lot of reasons to hate living here.
78. And a lot of reasons to love it.
79. Like the fact that we live half an hour away from the beach.
80. And .84 seconds away from Mexico.
81. I used to tell my mom that I never wanted to leave her house and would work as her maid to stay.
82. Let's just say I don't really feel the same way anymore.
83. I want to live in Greenwich Village with my family.
84. If I ever have a daughter I shall name her Sophie Collete.
85. I used to be terribly addicted to coffee.
86. But I kicked the habit.
87. Aren't you proud of me?
88. My sister used to be addicted to alcohol.
89. One night, she lied to my parents and headed off to Matamoros to drink and have fun. She ended up having a little too much to drink, got alcohol poisoning, and was immediately rushed to the hospital. The doctors said she could have died if she hadn't have come sooner. It was then I decided not to drink or fuck up my life the way she did.
90. That was the Christmas my parents promised me a computer.
91. The ambulance bill along with everything else cost far too much, and I ended up not getting it.
92. I suffered from depression last year, but I've gotten much better.
93. I realize now that some people have things much worse than I'll ever understand.
94. I'm actually really happy right now.
95. And in love.
96. My favorite dessert is a chocolatey brownie.
97. Add some ice cream and expect to see me orgasm.
98. I love Diet Coke.
99. And my closest friends.
100. And the way my life is going.

Ode to the Body Pillow

2004-03-30T05:07:09Z

Dear body pillow of mine,
you were once on my bed,
in my arms,
around my soul,
but now you are gone.

Dear body pillow of mine,
I still care for you dearly.
You should know,
I have trouble at night without you,
oh, dear body pillow.

Dear body pillow of mine,
you are gone,
you have been stolen,
away,
you are away.

Oh, dear body pillow of mine.

I'm Emotional

2004-03-29T03:17:41Z

Sometimes I worry about the things I don't forget. People say, "Let it go," or "Just move on," but I find that I can't.

There have been people in my life who have hurt me, people who have ruined parts of me that I never wanted to be touched. Most of them apologized, and I have forgiven, but that doesn't change who I am and it doesn't change how I feel. Saying sorry doesn't mean I've forgotten all that they've done. It doesn't mean I want to ever see them or talk to them again. It just means they are forgiven.

Forgive and forget.

I can forgive, but should I forget? Is it really the smartest idea to forget what someone has done to you? In my mind, it's almost like asking to be hurt just one more time. Maybe I'm just too defensive. Maybe I'm just afraid of getting hurt like that again.

But I don't like to forget.

Oh, Google

2004-02-15T17:57:53Z

Okay, so I usually don't mind Valentine's Day. Just because I happen to be single doesn't mean street vendors and drugstores shouldn't sell roses, balloons, and chocolates. Just because I'm single doesn't mean radio stations shouldn't play sappy love songs and advertise weird gift ideas for your sweetheart. Am I sick of seeing the color red, and hearing how people are making lovely fondue, going out to dinner, and jetting away for a weekend in the country alone? You better believe it. But I don't begrudge people their happiness; all around, it's just a fine holiday.

But when Google decides to have the two O's in the middle of their name kiss each other to mark the day, I've had enough.

All I want to do is search for the Battle of Yorktown without my search engine taunting me. Is that really too much to ask?

Jeez.

funkymunky28 @ 2004-01-27T21:31:00

2004-01-28T03:43:23Z

luckydanman, here.

Alyssa has asked me to update her journal. She recently said she would make it so that anyone could update, but I told her the dangers of someone changing her password and keeping her paid account. So, she told me to change her password, and so now only I may update. Take that, losers!

I know you all really appreciate the way Alyssa writes. She really does have talent, even if she refuses to admit it. You wouldn't be reading this if you didn't like her writings, right?

So, here I am. What shall I discuss? Let me think, maybe about how I met Alyssa. Ok, yes, that will do.

I probably first met Alyssa in my algebra class. This was a blow-off class, as our teacher lacked assertive ability. He would tell us to "Quiet down because he can't concentrate with all that 'jibber jabber'." in his flaming homosexual voice. I sat right across the row from her, and we had our own little social corner. Mind you, this was back when I still mispronounced her name, and said things like "lol" among other things.

We all thought we were all the bees knees in our little corner. We discussed all sorts of things, like school, and weekend activities. The one day that started our whole friendship was shortly after Halloween.

That Halloween, her sister had come to my house to trick or treat, and actually recognized me. A few days later in Algebra, I told her about it. This was when we both realized we lived in the same neighborhood. It all went up from there.

Now, wasn't that interesting?

International House Of Perfectness

2004-01-20T00:07:51Z

I adore IHOP. I do. I don't think I could ever live my life without an IHOP. And Target.

I love IHOP's friendly waitresses with too much eyeliner and lip gloss. I love their variety of syrups even though I only use maple. I love the slight traces of pulp in their orange juice, and the senior citizen deals which attract elders from far and wide every morning.

But, above all things, I love their hash browns.

Mmmmmm.

"You're tacky, and I hate you!"

2004-01-09T01:17:11Z

Yeah, Ms. Hernandez, you are tacky and I hate you. I hate the way you teach. I hate that you give us easy notes and hard homework. I hate that we have a test as least once a week. I hate that you give me attitude because I get bad grades. I hate your ugly, crisp blonde hair. I hate your goddamn alligator flats. I hate your voice. I hate your outfits. I hate the way you told Phoebe's mom that she "couldn't pass a class with her smile alone." I hate that you wear Converse with "funky" shoelaces on dress down days. I hate your fugly eyes. I hate your stupid markers and homemade triangles. I hate that you give others what you may think is a sweet smile when they forget homework, but roll your eyes and use a harsh tone if I do. I hate you.